The Scum at the Top
Commentary on the Rats in Washington
McCain: The Most Reprehensible of the Keating Five
By Tom Fitzpatrick
Phoenix New Times
© November 29, 1989
The story of "the Keating Five" has become a
scandal rivaling Teapot Dome and Watergate
You're John McCain, a fallen hero who wanted to become
president so desperately that you sold yourself to Charlie
Keating, the wealthy con man who bears such an incredible
resemblance to The Joker. Obviously, Keating thought you
could make it to the White House, too.
He poured $112,000 into your political campaigns. He became
your friend. He threw fund raisers in your honor. He even
made a sweet shopping-center investment deal for your wife,
Cindy. Your father-in-law, Jim Hensley, was cut in on the
deal, too.
Nothing was too good for you. Why not? Keating saw you as a
prime investment that would pay off in the future.
So he flew you and your family around the country in his
private jets. Time after time, he put you up for serene,
private vacations at his vast, palatial spa in the Bahamas.
All of this was so grand. You were protected from what Thomas
Hardy refers to as "the madding crowd." It was almost as
though you were already staying at a presidential retreat.
Like the old song, that now seems "Long ago and far away."
Since Keating's collapse, you find yourself doing obscene
things to save yourself from the Senate Ethics Committee's
investigation. As a matter of course, you engage in backbiting
behavior that will turn you into an outcast in the Senate if
you do survive.
They say that if you put five lobsters into a pot and give
them a chance to escape, none will be able to do so before
you light the fire. Each time a lobster tries to climb over
the top, his fellow lobsters will pull him back down. It is
the way of lobsters and threatened United States senators.
And, of course, that's the way it is with the Keating Five.
You are all battling to save your own hides. So you, McCain,
leak to reporters about who did Keating's bidding in pressuring
federal regulators to change the rules for Lincoln Savings
and Loan.
When the reporters fail to print your tips quickly enough--as
in the case of your tip on Michigan Senator Donald Riegle--you
call them back and remind them how important it is to get that
information in the newspapers.
The story of "the Keating Five" has become a scandal rivaling
Teapot Dome and Watergate. The outcome will be decided, not
in a courtroom, but probably on national television.
Those who survive will be the sociopaths who can tell a
lie with the most sincere, straight face. You are especially
adept at this.
Last Friday night, on The John McLaughlin Show, which
features well-known Washington journalists, the subject
of the Keating Five was discussed. Panelist Jack Germond
suggested that three of the Keating Five were probably
already through in politics.
So you spend your days desperately trying to make sure you
will be one of the survivors. You keep volunteering to go
on radio and television stations to protest your innocence.
Last week you made ABC's Nightline.
Not long before that you somehow managed to get James
Kilpatrick, the national columnist, to write a favorable
paragraph about you. Last Sunday morning, you made it to
national television again; this time on ABC's This Week
With David Brinkley. You smiled at the panel with your
usual studied insouciance. Sitting next to you was Senator
John Glenn of Ohio.
Brinkley, Sam Donaldson, and George Will were the interrogators.
It was a sobering scene. There you sat with Glenn, both
sweating before the cameras, waiting to answer questions:
two badly tarnished American icons.
No one forgets that Glenn was the first American astronaut
to orbit the Earth. You won't let anyone forget that you
were a prisoner of war. But you have played that tune too
long. By now your constant reminders about your war record
make you seem like a modern version of Arthur Miller's tragic
failure Willy Loman.
Clearly, both you and Glenn sold your fame for Charles
Keating's money.
It was a Faustian bargain. It was also a bad joke on the
rest of us and a disaster for many old people who lost
their life's savings to Keating.
The money was never really Keating's to give. But he never
would have got his hands on it if you and the rest of the
Keating Five didn't halt the government takeover for two
long years while Keating's people continued their looting.
And now, the tab for the Savings and Loan heist must be
paid from taxpayer pockets.
On Sunday, Senators Dennis DeConcini, Alan Cranston, and
Riegle refused offers to appear on the Brinkley show. What
must we make of that?
You, the closest of them to Keating and the deepest in his
debt, have chosen the path of the hard sell. You may even
make it out of the pot, but to many, your protestations of
innocence taste like gall.
You are determined to bluff your way. You will stick to
your story that you were acting to help a constituent and
intended to do nothing improper. The very fact you attended
the meeting makes you guilty, just as every man who entered
the Brinks vault went to prison.
You insist that an accounting firm Keating hired told you
Lincoln was sound. Alan Greenspan, who Keating also hired,
wrote a report saying it was sound. Why shouldn't you
believe the people Keating hired? You were, after all,
fellow employees.
Perhaps you might silence your own conscience about all
this someday.
Just keep telling everyone that it was your wife's money
invested in that shopping center with Keating and that
you knew nothing about it.
Keep saying that cynical newspaper people don't understand
that every move you make has always been for the enrichment
of Arizona . . . the education of our Native Americans on
the reservations . . . for the love of the elderly in Sun
City and Green Valley.
Keep telling them that it wasn't that you were bought off
but that Charlie Keating got special help only because he
was one of the biggest employers in the state.
Just keep sitting there and staring into the camera and
denying that Keating bought you for money and jet plane
trips and vacations.
So what if he gave you $112,000? Just keep smiling at the
cameras and saying you did nothing wrong.
Maybe the voters will understand you took those tiring
trips to Charlie's place in the Bahamas in their behalf.
Certainly, they can understand you wanted to take your
family along. A senator deserves to travel on private jets,
removed from the awful crush of public transportation.
You sought out a master criminal like Keating and became
his friend. Now you've discarded him. It shouldn't be
surprising that you are now in the process of selling out
your senatorial accomplices.
You're John McCain, clearly the guiltiest, most culpable
and reprehensible of the Keating Five. But you know the
power of television and you realize this is the only way
you can possibly save your political career.
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October 21, 2008